How To Have A Great Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is the most American of holidays; not just because it is a holiday that celebrates our country's heritage, but because it captures the true essence of America. What holiday captures what being an American is all about better than Thanksgiving? It is a day in which not only we are expected, but encouraged, to overeat excessively, and then to wallow in our excess by watching 350-pound men beat the living hell out of each other for the chance to win one of the legs off of John Madden's genetically modified six-legged turkey. Now that's America.

But Thanksgiving isn't all fun, games and binging. Many Americans dread the holiday, as it means that one will likely have to deal with relatives with whom one does not necessarily get along. There are always small children to look after, which can be a nuisance, especially when putting together such a complex meal. These dilemmas, along with others, have motivated me to make this handy-dandy list on how to have a great Thanksgiving:

Also appeared in November 21, 2002 edition of the MU Student News.