I Got Nothin'
Week after week, people say to me "Alex, you've been writing for the Student News for three semesters. How do you keep column so fresh and so clean-clean?" And the truth of the matter is, inspiration for a column can come from almost any source, be it a national or world news event, something going on around campus, popular culture, or George W. Bush. But sometimes a week goes by and us columnists run out of things to say. I don't think this would happen were I a real columnist, because presumably, I would not have fifteen hours of class to attend to. When real columnists run out of ideas, they respond to reader mail. As I have gotten a grand total of two pieces of non-Mom mail in regards to my column this semester (both of them praiseful of my column, which makes for an even more boring session of reader mail), I don't think that the reader mail column would be very interesting today.
Instead, I will employ a method often used by my columnist neighbor to the right, Ross. Ross calls this "ramblings." (I call it "notes.") Indeed, Ross has used ramblings so many times that he has run out of ideas with which to ramble, and is now converting his column to an advice column. That is how out of ideas Ross is.
But I have not yet regressed to that point, so I will do a "notes" column.
Also appeared in October 24, 2002 edition of the MU Student News.