Financial Tips for a Shaky Economy

As a columnist, it is important to stay abreast of current events. As a columnist for a student newspaper, it is my job to take the confusing events of the world and to tag an average college students' opinion onto the issue, thereby telling you what to think about the issue. It is then my job to email my column to my editor, where inappropriate paragraph breaks are inexplicably laden throughout my

Column. This week, I thought I'd discuss the troubled United States economy. As you may or may not be aware, the United States' economy is in trouble. It has something to do with the war, Enron, Dick Cheney, mortgage rates and tech stocks. These are all very important issues, and what our generation really needs is somebody who, on a regular basis, can explain in layman's terms what is really going on with our economy, and what we, the young people of America, can do to help ­ not just ourselves, but our country.

So I will leave it up to you, the readers, to go find that person. In the meantime, here's some goofy crap I made up:

Alex's Tips for $ucce$$ on a College Budget™!

Also appeared in September 5, 2002 edition of MU Student News.