Point: Halloween Sucks
By Ross Gianfortune
I don't like holidays. I think Valentine's Day is just a way to make single people feel bad. I think birthdays are just a way to say "Congratulations, you didn't die this year," and you Christians really like to go crazy with Christmas, don't you?
But I really hate Halloween. While it's a great holiday when you're younger, it is really stupid when you get older.
Costumes are stupid. Their original purpose was to scare adults into giving you candy (and what kind of message is that to send to kids--to scare people into giving them stuff? Isn't that what the art of mugging is based on?), but now people dress up as just about anything. When I was younger, I dressed as Snoopy a lot for Halloween. Who the hell is afraid of Snoopy? The worst thing Snoopy can do is poop on your lawn.
You have to wonder about some people's costumes. I heard a theory once that most people dress up as something they want to be on Halloween. When I was little, I used to dress up as Batman a lot. This reinforces that theory, as I really wanted to be Batman when I was a little boy (and I still want to be Batman). For that guy who consistently dresses up as a woman every year--well, maybe he really wants to be a woman.
For those stupid people who dress as pimps--well, maybe they want to whore women out. And for all the women who dress up as whores every year; well, maybe they really just want to be promiscuous and dress very seductively.
I used to feel really bad for women on Halloween. Basically, every woman's costume is just the man's version, only sexier. For example, I am dressing as a devil this year. If I were a girl, I would probably have the same costume, only with a low-cut red shirt (to emphasize my breasts) and a very short red miniskirt (to emphasize my butt). The same concept holds true for the cat, vampire, ghost, pirate and just about every other costume in existence. It seems costume makers just want to see more T&A on Halloween.
Your other option is making your own costume. Why would you spend $30 to look like an idiot when you can look even stupider making one out of things you found at the dump? Nothing looks stupider than a robot costume made of PVC piping, old cardboard boxes and silver spray-paint.
Costume parties are dumb (well, parties are dumb in generalbut I digress). I wouldn't be able to carry on a conversation with a dude dressed as a Smurf, nor would I be smitten by a girl dressed as a sexy vampire. And Halloween party conversations are usually pretty similar ("What are you supposed to be?" "What are YOU supposed to be?" or "That's a GREAT costume" "No, THAT'S a great costume").
I get to attend one of these on Halloween. KCOU is having a
party at Shattered and despite the fact that it is a Halloween
party, I think it might be fun. Maybe I'll see you there. I'll
be the one pouting in the devil costume.
Counterpoint: Halloween is Fun!
Halloween is fun!
I love Halloween. I mean, let's face it, any holiday that involves free candy can't be all bad. I know some people say that Halloween is a holiday just for kids, but I don't buy that. There are lots of things that you can do when you get to be college-age that are still lots of fun on Halloween! To be honest, I think Halloween is like a fine wine. It only gets better with age!
I think my favorite part about Halloween are the costumes! Costumes are fun! The best part about costumes is that you can be anything, from something scary like a ghost or a goblin to something fun like Snoopy or Batman! I like to be creative with my costumes. My sophomore year of high school, I dressed up as a Lava Lamp for Halloween. Seriously! A Lava Lamp! It was so much fun! You can even dress up as something sexy, like a French maid, a cat, a vampire, a ghost, or even a pirate. Arrr, matey! It's time to sail the sexy sea!
Lots of people dress up in groups, which is always lots of fun. Sometimes guys will dress up as "pimps" and their girl friends will dress up as their "hos." Any other day of the year, people might take offense to this. But since it's Halloween, anything goes! What fun!
I always like making my costumes. There is a great feeling of satisfaction when you see how much fun everyone is having on All Hallows Eve when you are dressed up as something really fun! It's not hard to make a costume, either. You'd be surprised how easy it is to make a costume out of an old sheet and some old clothes. This year, I'm making my costume out of some cardboard boxes, PVC piping and spray paint. I won't tell what I'm going to be; it's a surprise! Don't be shy! Get creative! If you don't have the time to make a costume, you can always rent a really fun one from a costume store for $30 or so.
I think that maybe the only part of Halloween I like better than the costumes (other than the candy, of course!) is the costume parties! It is so much fun to get together and see what people are dressed as! Let's face it; we're all very busy with college and extracurricular activities. It's not like we students have the most time in the world to get super-creative with our costumes. I think one of the most fun things to do is to try and guess what people are! You might not be able to tell what they are, and they might not be able to tell what you are, but it doesn't matter, because it's all in the name of fun!
So for all of you out there who haven't gotten into the Halloween spirit yet, don't worry! It's not too late to let loose, get creative, and have some fun!
Also appeared in October 29, 2001 edition of MU Student News.