I bought that Nintendo GameCube for America
I swear, had I known I was to encounter such accusations as I did last week when I purchased a Nintendo GameCube, I would have reconsidered my position on purchasing the latest in video game technology.
It was much to my surprise that colleagues and/or family members of mine had the audacity to call me names upon my purchase of the Nintendo GameCube, especially when I explained that I purchased the GameCube instead of a PlayStation 2 or an XBox "Mostly for the next Zelda game."
"Dork," said my brother.
Ah, youth. How much there is that they not understand. Despite the fact that I did purchase the GameCube with the intent on "being ready" for the next Zelda game when it comes out sometime in 2002, I had an ulterior motive.
As you all know, the United States' economy has been on thin ice for quite a while now, and has gotten shakier since the attacks of September 11. President Bush has encouraged Americans to spend money to make the economy stronger. So you see, I did not buy the Nintendo GameCube for myself and my 11-year-old-boy-ish video game addiction, I bought it for America!
When I spent $267 at the Highland Park Toys R Us on the GameCube and on Sega's Crazy Taxi that day, I was not thinking of merely myself. I was thinking of helping the dwindling American economy. After all, we all have to do our part. $17 of my tax money went directly to the American economy.
When I rented WaveRace Blue Storm and Super Monkey Ball at Blockbuster Video, I was not thinking about whiling away the hours on my new system for my own personal amusement; the thought never entered my mind. I was thinking only of the Americans who were jobless, and how my renting these games would give money to Blockbuster Video, a subsidiary of Viacom, Inc., which would help them to further expand their virtual monopoly of the video rental market in America so that more Americans could obtain jobs upon the expansion of Blockbuster into their cities.
But my selflessness did not stop there. When I went to Circuit City to purchase a Nintendo brand GameCube controller, I was not thinking about the exciting new characters and multi-player mode in Super Smash Brothers Melee nor the ability to race my friends in WaveRace. I was thinking about the men and women fighting in Afghanistan. Now that President Bush has eliminated our economy's surplus with massive tax cuts, I felt it was my responsibility to help fund our men and women fighting overseas. And I'm sure the sales tax on my GameCube controller purchased a U.S. soldier a sandwich somewhere in Afghanistan.
So while you may think that my GameCube purchase was one of selfishness and self-perpetuating nerddom, I say for shame! Perhaps it is you who is being selfish by not purchasing a Nintendo GameCube. Go out and purchase a Nintendo GameCube; not for yourself, but for America.
Oh, and if you get it, will you rent SSX Tricky and tell me how it is? That game looks really cool and I can't decide if I should ask for it for Christmas or not.