1. Welcome to the dawn of the internet's 1,014,956,251,838th web page!
2. Common Misconceptions about CGS
3. Attack of the 5" Floppies!
4. The placidity of the confusion of the stupid: Another Reason BU Should Get Cable
5. George Strikes Again!
6. I Hate Stupid People Part MDCXLIV
7. I have become more apathetic.
8. Portrait of a Single Guy
9. Womens' Magazines, or, 9 Billion ways to make him crazy
10. The Debutante Ball Part I: The Invitation, The Queen City, The Protestants
11. The Debutante Ball Part II: The Rehearsal Dinner
12. The Debutante Ball Part III: The Ball
13. A Different Kind of Hangover
14. What? The Olympics Ain't Good Enough For Ya?
15. I'm Still Bitter About Getting Rejected from Yale
16. NOW Who wasted their vote?
17. I Wish I Was Gay
19. I am NOT a Nerd
20. Temptation Island: A Whole New Kind of Stupid (Part 1)
21. Temptation Island: A Whole New Kind of Stupid (Part 2)
22. Wanna Make Out?
23. Wisdom from a Bathroom Wall
24. Schizophrenic Logic
25. The Taftese Guide to Choosing the Right College for You
26. My Dad for President
27. But I've Never Written a Column on Cell Phones!
28. Portrait of a Single Guy Part II
30. But, Really, Aren't We All in Frats?
31. Why isn't baseball funnier?
32. Forget Chandra! What about Fluffy?
33. College = Bizzaroland
34. But Escalades are Inefficient!
35. The kid with the lunch box
36. Looking for love in all the wrong places
37. I May Already Be a Winner!
38. The Old Walk Up and Hump Approach
39. Point-Counterpoint: Halloween
40. Registration Tips
41. When I see something I want, I go out and pay for it
42. I bought that Nintendo GameCube for America
43. It's like, sometimes life is hard.
44. I'm thinking about becoming a Coffeeist
45. The Fellowship of the Nerd
46. That New Semester Smell
47. That Dave show was Phat, Yo!
48. The Story of Valentine's Day
49. A Semester at Sea
50. I Will not Celebrate Pointless Milestones
51. I'm Giving Up Drugs for the War Effort!
52. The Penis Monologues
53. Stopping Short: columns that never made it (Notes Column II)
54. Tampering with mail is a federal offense
55. Point-Counterpoint II: Peeing Honey
56. The All-Silly Name Team
57. I'm Thinking About Becoming a Coffeeist (MUSN Edition)
58. My Opinion is Horribly Misinformed!
59. Don't Kill the (Instant) Messenger
60. Notes Column III
61. Little-Known Facts about Mizzou
62. Financial Tips for a Shaky Economy
63. I Like Raspberries!
64. Yet another column about reality TV
65. The Highlight(er) Reel
66. Fwd: check this out
68. I Got Nothin' (Notes Column IV)
70. Going Potty Over Election Day
71. Alex's Guide to Choosing a Political Party
72. How to Have a Great Thanksgiving
73. Would You Like to Help Me Ejaculate?
74. I Haven't Gotten Any Since the Band Broke Up
75. A Summary of the Last Six Months in Explicit Detail
76. I Will De-Queerify You Using the Power of My Magnetic Mind by Special Guest Columnist George W. Bush
77. Please Stop Asking About My Policies by Special Guest Columnist Arnold Schwarzenegger