FINAL DRAFT
July 26, 2001
©2001, Alex Taft
SABBATH
FADE IN:
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
One empty parking spot remains in a church parking lot.
BEGIN TITLES
The ROAR of a MOTORCYCLE (O.S.) gets louder... louder...
louder, a SCREECH, and then finally the motorcycle pulls into
the spot. All we can see is the driver's big black boot, and
possibly the back wheel.
A finished cigarette drops to the ground. It is extinguished
by the big black boot.
The camera slowly TILTS up the Driver's body. He is dressed
entirely in black. As the camera TILTS up toward the
Driver's black leather jacket, we see him withdraw a FLASK
which is embossed with a crucifix.
The camera FOLLOWS the flask to a
CLOSE UP of FATHER BRUCE O'REILLY. On the way up, we notice
that under the leather jacket Father Bruce is wearing the
traditional collar of a priest.
END TITLES
As Father Bruce steps out of his close up, the camera FOCUSES
on a signpost which has two signs on it. The first sign is a
regular-looking "No Parking" sign which reads: CLERGY PARKING
ONLY
Below it, nailed to the signpost, is a poorly-made wooden
sign which, in red paint declares: PARK HERE AND GO TO HELL --
THE MANAGEMENT
CUT TO:
AGAINST BLACK, TITLE CARD:
'SABBATH'
CUT TO:
INT. ST. MICHAEL'S CHURCH - DAY
BROTHER JENKINS is an assistant to Father Bruce at St.
Michael's. He is kind of nerdy, kind of spineless. Although
Jenkins is apprehensive about Bruce's style, we can sense
some camaraderie between the two of them.
Brother Jenkins approaches Father Bruce and the camera
FOLLOWS them as they make their way through the church.
JENKINS
Father O'Reilly!
FATHER BRUCE
Brother Jenkins, how many times do
I have to tell you, call me Father
Bruce?
JENKINS
Father O'Reilly, I just don't think
that --
FATHER BRUCE
(interrupting)
Listen, Jenkins, you can call me
vagina face for all I care, just
don't call me Father O'Reilly.
SHOT - JENKINS
Jenkins is visibly shocked, but manages to compose himself
and get down to business.
JENKINS
Father Bruce. Well, sir, I just
thought that I ought to come tell
you that the Bishop came in again
this morning.
FATHER BRUCE
That old fucker? What'd he want
this time?
JENKINS
Well, he seemed to be pretty upset
about your Sunday sermon.
FATHER BRUCE
Yeah, that was a doozy.
JENKINS
With all due respect, Bruce, I
hardly think "Cool the fuck out and
forgive" was an appropriate theme
for the sermon.
FATHER BRUCE
Shit, Jenkins. What do you have
against forgiveness?
It's a good fucking thing, you
know. Love thy neighbor and all
that shit...
Father Bruce lights a cigarette and starts walking towards
his office.
MOVING SHOT - FATHER BRUCE AND JENKINS
The camera FOLLOWS Father Bruce and Jenkins as they walk
towards Bruce's office.
JENKINS
Well, whether or not I approve of
it, the Bishop caught wind of it
from one of our parishioners, and
he is not happy about it. He says
that he needs to talk to you
immediately.
FATHER BRUCE
Fuck.
Bruce flicks his cigarette offscreen.
CLOSE SHOT - BASIN CONTAINING HOLY WATER
Father Bruce's cigarette lands in the holy water and
extinguishes with a SIZZLE. Father Bruce and BISHOP HARDING
begin their conversation over this shot.
FATHER BRUCE'S VOICE
Bishop Harding... it's Father Bruce
O'Reilly. I'm sorry to bother you
at home, but Brother Jenkins told
me that you called.
BISHOP HARDING'S VOICE
That's all right, Father O'Reilly.
I'm glad you returned my call so
promptly.
CUT TO:
INT. FATHER BRUCE'S OFFICE - DAY
Father Bruce is on the phone with the bishop continuing the
conversation started in the last scene.
Father Bruce's office is a mess. There are files and papers
lying everywhere. There is an Apple Computer "Think
Different" poster on the wall featuring a photo of Miles
Davis. Father Bruce has an ORANGE IMAC COMPUTER which has a
bumper sticker on it that says "Jesus loves you.
Everyone else thinks you're an asshole." There is also a
COFFEE MAKER and an ASHTRAY.
INTERCUT telephone conversation between Father Bruce and
BISHOP HARDING.
Father Bruce is frustrated and stressed out by this whole
situation. He is chain-smoking during their conversation.
FATHER BRUCE
Look, Bishop... You guys have been
struggling to recruit young people
to the church for years, and here
I am in Hyde Park, right next to
the University of Chicago, bringing
them out in droves, but I still
can't catch a break with you
people.
Bishop Harding is a conservative old man who is constantly
wearing a GIANT BISHOP'S HAT. In this scene, he should be at
home, wearing pajamas or a smoking robe or something that one
would only wear at home. Of course, he is still wearing the
hat.
It is clear that Bishop Harding likes the fact that Father
Bruce is bringing in new blood to the church; but he is by no
means sympathetic.
BISHOP HARDING
Father O'Reilly...
FATHER BRUCE
Bruce, Bishop. Call me Bruce.
BISHOP HARDING
Bruce, as much as we appreciate
your efforts to go out and bring in
the young people, they don't bring
any money to the church. It is the
older people in your parish that
bring the money that keep the
church alive.
FATHER BRUCE
So they got upset about one sermon.
Can't you just, you know, turn the
other cheek?
(he laughs sheepishly.)
SHOT - BISHOP HARDING
The Bishop does not think the joke was funny.
FATHER BRUCE
Sorry.
BISHOP HARDING
Father Bruce, it wasn't just last
Sunday. I have had complaints
about the content of almost every
single sermon...
He picks up a list.
BISHOP HARDING (CONT'D)
(reading)
"What were they smoking when they
wrote Revelation?"... "Mary
Magdalene: the Holiest of the Hos"
... "Judas was a pussy"...
FATHER BRUCE
(interrupting)
Okay, Okay, I see your point. But
listen, Bishop, it's not about
pleasing the old folks! It's about
bringing new flesh and blood into
the Catholic church and having them
discover that Catholicism doesn't
have to be all about sexual
repression! I'm trying to show
these kids - and the older folks -
that Catholics can have fun, too!
BISHOP HARDING
Father Bruce, you and I both know
that that is simply not true!
(a beat)
Bruce, I would love to see your
parish thrive on ramen noodles and
Gino's East Pizza coupons, but
neither of those things are going
to pay the heating bills. Now,
Bruce, I hate to bring it down to
this, but either you clean up your
act, or we will be forced to
consider excommunication.
FATHER BRUCE
(angrily)
Fine! Just don't come crying to me
in thirty years when the entire
Catholic population of Chicago is
dead.
He slams down the phone.
FATHER BRUCE
Fucking bishop.
INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY
We are in a typical coffee shop that one would find in a
college neighborhood. There are lots of COFFEE SHOP PATRONS -
mostly students - studying and chatting over coffee in the
background.
SHOT - FATHER BRUCE'S TABLE
Father Bruce has been hard at work. There is a BIBLE,
several crumpled up pages, an EMPTY COFFEE CUP, and an
ashtray piled high with cigarette butts on the table.
ANGLE - FATHER BRUCE
It is later in the week. Father Bruce is wearing the
traditional Priest getup with a black leather jacket. Father
Bruce is smoking a cigarette and writing furiously in a
notebook while occasionally glancing at his bible. He looks
like crap. His hair is messed up, he has circles under his
eyes. He looks like he has been writing for twenty-four
hours straight. He is frustrated.
His body language grows slowly more and more agitated. He is
pressing the pen harder and harder into the paper.
Eventually, he just stabs the notebook with the pen, and
noisily crumples up the paper. Furious, Bruce throws the
paper onto the table and slams the notebook on the ground.
He picks up his bible, unable to control his rage any longer.
FATHER BRUCE
(screaming)
This is shit! This is complete and
utter bullshit!
ANGLE - COFFEE SHOP PATRONS
The COFFEE SHOP PATRONS are all staring at Father Bruce.
FATHER BRUCE
Sorry.
He sits down.
RENEE THOMAS is a student at the University of Chicago. She
is witty and intelligent. She is good-looking, but not
gorgeous. Her wardrobe seems to be more comfort-oriented
rather than fashion oriented.
Renee approaches the table.
RENEE
Looks like you could use a break.
FATHER BRUCE
(seriously - he does not
want to take a break)
Renee - I can't. I have to write
this sermon for Sunday and I'm just
totally swamped.
RENEE
Bruce, you really should take a
break.
FATHER BRUCE
Oh yeah? What makes you say that?
RENEE
Well, it could be the 450
cigarettes in your ashtray... Or it
might just be the fact that you
just screamed to the greater
Chicagoland area about how "it's
all bullshit" with a Bible in your
hand.
A beat.
FATHER BRUCE
Sit down.
He starts clearing the table to make room for her.
A WAITRESS approaches.
WAITRESS
(to Renee)
Can I get you something?
RENEE
A cup of coffee, please.
FATHER BRUCE
And I'll have a refill.
He holds up the cup for the waitress. His hand is shaking.
RENEE
Make his decaf.
WAITRESS
Right.
The waitress leaves.
FATHER BRUCE
(sarcastically)
What would I do without you, Renee?
RENEE
Die of heart palpitations on your
next cup of regular. What is the
matter with you anyway?
FATHER BRUCE
Renee, if I tell you something,
will you promise to keep it on the
down low?
RENEE
Yes.
FATHER BRUCE
Are you sure?
RENEE
Somehow I think lying to a priest
would not be in my best interests
with the man upstairs.
FATHER BRUCE
The bishop is threatening to
excommunicate my ass unless I act
like every other two-bit priest in
this fucking city.
RENEE
What?!? He can't do that! You've
increased church attendance like
crazy!
FATHER BRUCE
I know, but it's all college
students who are coming out.
College students, as you know, are
poor. College students do not make
any donations to St. Mike's. In
short, the church is going broke
because I'm drawing the wrong kind
of people.
RENEE
But you're not drawing the wrong
kind of people! You're drawing the
people that need to be touched
spiritually the most!
In twenty years, these people will
be donating the most money to the
church.
FATHER BRUCE
I don't think Bishop Harding is
concerned about money on a long
term basis. It's not like
Catholicism is in any danger of
extinction.
RENEE
But what you're doing is more
important than money! You are
spiritually inspiring the young
Catholics. I mean, look at me.
Before I heard about you, I hadn't
been to church in seven years. Now
I'm there every Sunday. Think of
how many students in your parish
have the same story!
FATHER BRUCE
Yeah. I guess. But that doesn't
bring in any money. I'm beginning
to think that Bishop Harding is
right. It doesn't matter how many
young people I bring in. The
church has bills to pay. And the
young people just aren't going to
pay them.
A pause. Renee looks like she wants to say something, but
can't.
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
Look, Renee... I gotta go. It was
good to see you.
Father Bruce picks up his stuff, drops some cash on the table
and then leaves.
ANGLE - RENEE
She looks disheartened as we can see Father Bruce exiting the
coffee shop in the background.
INT. - ST. MICHAEL'S CHAPEL - DAY
INSERT TITLE - 'THAT SUNDAY'
It is the Sunday mass. They are just finishing up with the
communion. The last members of the CONGREGATION have just
sat down. The church is packed.
The congregation contains mostly college-age people, who are
informally dressed. Jeans and t-shirts and piercings are
common throughout the young congregation. There is an
occasional older person, but they are rare.
As the last of the congregation gets seated, we can hear
ORGAN MUSIC gently coming to a close in the background.
ANGLE - FATHER BRUCE
Bruce looks nervous. He has shaved his goatee and stubble
off and his hair is neat and combed. Beads of sweat are
forming on his forehead. He is clearly not ready to give a
'normal' sermon.
SHOT - CONGREGATION
They are all staring straight forward, waiting for Bruce to
approach the pulpit to deliver the sermon. Bruce is frozen
stiff.
ANGLE - FATHER BRUCE
He is still frozen stiff, scared as all hell.
ANGLE - JENKINS
Jenkins is starting to get visibly uneasy as the
uncomfortable silence gets longer.
SHOT - CONGREGATION
Still staring straight forward at Bruce.
CLOSE UP - FATHER BRUCE
Still sweating, still scared stiff.
ANGLE - JENKINS
Becoming more nervous. Jenkins decides to approach Father
Bruce. He takes one step towards Bruce when Bruce snaps out
of his trance.
CONGREGATION'S POV
Father Bruce picks up the chalice which contains the
remainder of the communion wine and chugs it.
We FOLLOW Father Bruce to the pulpit.
FATHER BRUCE
The Lord be with you.
SHOT - CONGREGATION
CONGREGATION
(in unison)
And also with you.
ANGLE - FATHER BRUCE
FATHER BRUCE
(nervous)
Today, I wanted to talk about
(looks down at notes)
INSERT - FATHER BRUCE'S NOTES
Scrawled on a single piece of notebook paper in a big black
marker, they read:
1. ACT LIKE A SQUARE.
2. DON'T FUCK UP!!!!!
BACK TO SCENE
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
-- the gospel.
(clears throat)
Today's gospel is about sacrifice.
Every week we at the church ask you
to sacrifice some of your hard
earned money to help us keep going.
You know, to pay for stuff.
(clears throat again)
But last week, we only got seven
dollars and a coupon for buy one
get one free at Boston Blackie's on
Grand.
The congregation lets out a SLIGHT LAUGH.
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
Sure, we didn't make a lot of
money, but neither do you guys.
The woman in the gospel today only
gave a little bit to the church.
But as Jesus pointed out, her heart
was a whole fff--
(he stops himself from
cursing)
-fflot bigger than the guy who
donated a lot of money to the
church, because that little bit
meant more to her than the big lot
did to the rich dude.
So the point of all this is that
sacrificing is about percentage.
That's why we have an increasingly
scaled federal income tax.
A beat.
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
(quickly, wanting to get
it overwith)
In Jesus' name, Amen.
SHOT - CONGREGATION
The congregation is silent. They are shocked.
SHOT - FATHER BRUCE
FATHER BRUCE
(raising his voice)
I said, "Amen!"
CONGREGATION
(unsure, not quite in
unison)
Amen.
CUT TO:
INT. - ST. MICHAEL'S CHURCH - LATER
The service is over. Father Bruce is shaking hands with the
churchgoers as they leave.
STEVE is a young white guy who desperately wants to be black.
You can tell by his speech and dress.
FATHER BRUCE
Good morning, Steven.
STEVE
Steven? Yo, what's wit you, Father
B? Yo' ass is all twisted around
this morning!
FATHER BRUCE
Steven, I'm afraid matters have
become such that I have to change
the format of my services.
STEVE
What?!? Nigga, you gots ta be
bustin' my ass!
FATHER BRUCE
Now, Steven, there's no need for
that kind of language here.
STEVE
(disappointed)
Shit, B! Sounds like yo' ass got
influenced by the man.
FATHER BRUCE
I'm afraid it's become much more
complex than that, Steve.
STEVE
Oh, yeah? Well, complex this,
muthafucka. I ain't coming next
Sunday. Sheeit.
Steve exits the church.
Renee is behind Steve. She is very upset, near tears.
FATHER BRUCE
Renee...
RENEE
I can't believe you. I really
thought that you were going to
stick to your guns.
She leaves.
FATHER BRUCE
(upset)
Renee... I can explain... Renee!
FATHER BRUCE'S POV
We watch Renee walk away from the church.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. - ST. MICHAEL'S CHAPEL - DAY
It is later that day. The church is empty and Father Bruce
is sitting with his head in his hands on the front pew. He
is holding a lit cigarette in one of his hands.
Jenkins sits down next to him and puts his hand on Bruce's
back.
JENKINS
Bruce, I... I just wanted to let
you know that I think you're doing
the right thing. I mean, you've
drawn a very important line for
yourself. You have shown that
trying to keep your own parish is
more important to you than trying
to impress those students.
FATHER BRUCE
(miserably)
Yeah.
JENKINS
They're young, Bruce. They'll get
over it.
Bruce's CELL PHONE RINGS. He pulls it out of his shirt
pocket and answers it.
INTERCUT Bishop's telephone conversation with Father Bruce.
Bishop Harding is at home again, but this time he is walking
on his TREADMILL. He is wearing a WORKOUT OUTFIT, like a
sweatsuit, or a running jacket and warm-ups. He is - of
course - wearing the BISHOP'S HAT. He talks on a cordless
phone while walking on his treadmill.
FATHER BRUCE
Hello?
BISHOP HARDING
Bruce! I heard good things about
you this morning!
FATHER BRUCE
Really? I didn't.
BISHOP HARDING
(laughs)
Oh, Bruce. I'm glad to hear you're
keeping your sense of humor about
you through this difficult time of
transition.
FATHER BRUCE
(A grunt/groan)
Unh.
BISHOP HARDING
At any rate, Bruce, I was so
pleased to hear about your
performance that I decided to
invite Archbishop Drake to your
sermon next Sunday to show him your
rapid improvement!
FATHER BRUCE
The Archbishop?
BISHOP HARDING
Yes.
FATHER BRUCE
Here?
BISHOP HARDING
Yes.
FATHER BRUCE
Next Sunday?
BISHOP HARDING
Yes.
FATHER BRUCE
(yells)
Shit!!!
BISHOP HARDING
What was that?
FATHER BRUCE
I mean, uh, great.
BISHOP HARDING
We'll see you next Sunday, Father
Bruce!
Bruce hangs up without a word.
JENKINS
Archbishop Drake is coming next
weekend?
Father Bruce nods.
JENKINS
Shit!
Father Bruce gives Jenkins a look, with a half-smirk on his
face. Jenkins looks awkward and embarrassed and exits the
chapel.
SERIES OF SHOTS
A) Father Bruce in the coffee shop we saw him in earlier.
He is frustrated and is surrounded by crumpled up pieces
of paper and an ashtray full of cigarettes. He is
furiously writing something down on a piece of paper.
B) A similar shot as before. Father Bruce is in his
office, this time, typing furiously on his computer. A
full pot of coffee and an ashtray full of cigarette
butts sits next to him. He starts to get drowsy and
eventually falls asleep.
C) A SLOW MOTION shot of Father Bruce and Jenkins, dressed
in full clergy dress at a carnival or an amusement park.
They are playing a carnival game that involves squirt
guns. Jenkins turns his gun and starts squirting Father
Bruce, who laughs and shoots back. They are laughing
joyously and squirting one another.
The WOMAN working at the booth smiles and gives them
both an enormous stuffed animal. They laugh and jump up
and down, giggling with glee.
JENKINS' VOICE
Bruce.... Bruce... Bruce...
CUT TO:
INT. FATHER BRUCE'S OFFICE - NIGHT
We realize that the carnival scene has been a dream. It is
Jenkins' voice in the dream that is blending in with reality.
Jenkins is trying to rouse Bruce, who is asleep and drooling
on his desk.
JENKINS
Bruce? Bruce... Bruuuuce....
Father Bruce finally snaps out of his slumber.
FATHER BRUCE
What?!?
JENKINS
Bruce, you've been working for like
30 straight hours. Maybe you
should get some rest.
Father Bruce looks around a little bit to get re-oriented.
FATHER BRUCE
Uh... Yeah. Yeah, I think you're
right.
Father Bruce exits the office and gives Jenkins a funny look
as he leaves. Jenkins is visibly confused at the stare.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. - ST. MICHAEL'S CHAPEL - DAY
It is a scene similar to the Sunday before - a packed house.
SHOT - JENKINS, BISHOP HARDING, AND ARCHBISHOP DRAKE
Archbishop Drake is another old white guy, except he is even
older than Bishop Harding. He should be wearing glasses and
be wearing a hat nearly twice the size than that of Bishop
Harding's.
INSERT TITLE - 'SUNDAY'
In the background we can hear ORGAN MUSIC coming to a slow
halt.
Father Bruce steps up to the pulpit to speak.
FATHER BRUCE
The lord be with you.
CONGREGATION
And also with you.
Father Bruce takes a deep breath before he begins.
FATHER BRUCE
(hesitant)
Many of you were here last week for
the sermon.
ANGLE - RENEE
Renee is sitting in the pews, looking hopeful.
FATHER BRUCE (O.S.)
A sermon, which, for this church,
was rather unorthodox.
SHOT - FATHER BRUCE
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
A lot of you that are here from
last week come here every Sunday.
And I really, truly appreciate
that. As a Christian, and as a
priest to such a loyal
congregation, I feel that I owe it
to you all to be completely and
totally honest with you.
SHOT - STEVE
Steve is just entering the church through the rear entrance.
FATHER BRUCE (O.S.)
And I have not been completely
honest with you.
SHOT - FATHER BRUCE
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
I have been threatened to be
excommunicated from the church.
SHOT - ARCHBISHOP DRAKE AND BISHOP HARDING
AD LIB reaction of surprise, disappointment from the
congregation.
Bishop Harding looks furious and starts to stand up.
Archbishop Drake stops him and leans over to whisper
something in his ear.
SHOT - FATHER BRUCE
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
Since most of you are college
students, and can barely afford to
pay for a six-pack of Pabst Blue
Ribbon...
LAUGHTER from the congregation.
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
...spending money on your church is
not your utmost priority. Sure,
this church doesn't make a lot of
money, but I don't think that's
really it.
Father Bruce glances in the direction of Bishop Harding and
Archbishop Drake.
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
I think it's me.
A beat.
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
When I was young, I hated going to
church. I hated sitting down and
saying the same thing over and over
again and listen to some white guy
who I didn't even know tell me how
to live my life.
WIDE SHOT - CONGREGATION
Steve stands up.
STEVE
Yeah!
Everyone in the congregation turns and stares at Steve.
There is an awkward silence as Steve slowly sits down, trying
hard not to not look embarrassed and still look macho.
SHOT - FATHER BRUCE
FATHER BRUCE
So when I decided to dedicate my
life to God, I decided that I
wasn't going to be like every other
priest. I wasn't going to have
sermons like every other priest.
Why should I? I am not like them.
They are not like me. Hell, they
are not like one another. God
created us all to be completely
different from one another. And
that is something that we should
celebrate, every single day.
Everyone is going to have a unique
relationship with God, just as
everyone is unique themselves.
A beat.
FATHER BRUCE (CONT'D)
Now, instead of everybody reciting
the Nicene Creed like a bunch of
creepy catholic cyborgs, I want
everyone to say something that
reflects their individual
relationship with God. I'll give
you a minute to think about it.
A pause.
INT. - ST. MICHAEL'S CHAPEL - DAY
It is later on. All of the parishioners have cleared out of
the church and the only ones left are Father Bruce, Bishop
Harding, Archbishop Drake, and Brother Jenkins.
BISHOP HARDING
Well, Father Bruce, I must admit
that Archbishop Drake and I were
overwhelmed by your sermon.
For the first time, we hear Archbishop Drake speak. He has
an incredibly thick Chicago accent.
ARCHBISHOP DRAKE
Very nice, Father. Very good
message.
FATHER BRUCE
Listen... I'm going to level with
you, here. I don't really care
what you two thought of my sermon.
What I do want to know is this: Am
I in, or am I out?
ARCHBISHOP DRAKE
Father Bruce, Bishop Harding and I
were so touched by your message of
individuality and by your ability
to bring in the youth to the
service, that we would like to
recommend you for a position as a
Bishop.
FATHER BRUCE
Well, guys, thanks... But no
thanks. My place is right here at
St. Mike's.
ARCHBISHOP DRAKE
Suit yourself.
(to Bishop Harding)
You wanna go get a Walker Brothers?
Father Bruce and Archbishop Drake leave.
MOVING SHOT - FATHER BRUCE AND JENKINS
They are walking slowly towards the front of the church.
JENKINS
Bruce, that was a really great
sermon you gave today.
FATHER BRUCE
Thanks, Jenkins.
JENKINS
Hey, Bruce...Call me Ignatius.
Father Bruce stops him.
FATHER BRUCE
Wait, your first name is Ignatius?
JENKINS
Yeah. Why, wha--
From nowhere, Steve and Renee run into the shot holding
hands, interrupting Jenkins.
FATHER BRUCE
Hey, you guys!
RENEE
Father Bruce, Steve and I have some
great news!
FATHER BRUCE
You guys know each other?
Renee and Steve look at each other.
RENEE AND STEVE
We're getting married!
STEVE
And we want you to perform the
wedding, B!
Father Bruce is overcome with joy and shock at once. AD LIB
appropriate reaction.
Father Bruce faints.
Jenkins, Renee and Steve all laugh.
Jenkins bends over, out of the camera's view.
JENKINS (O.S.)
Hey, guys, he's not breathing.
Renee and Steve look at each other awkwardly.
Jenkins stands up, returning to the shot.
JENKINS
Just kidding!
They all start laughing again.
JENKINS
Hey, look, now he's foaming at the
mouth!
They laugh harder.
JENKINS
We really should call an ambulance!
They laugh even harder.
FREEZE FRAME
FADE OUT.
THE END